Good Enough

Dark memories blot out

The moments that I should cherish

And in times of celebration

Anxiety kills, leaving joyfulness to perish

And I wonder,

How am I good enough to love?

 

I sit alone for hours

Wanting nothing more than peace

But my heart cries of loneliness

That only company can appease

And I wonder,

How am I good enough to love?

 

My eyes are like the monsoon

Fine for a moment,

Then pouring the next,

I’m in a chronic state of lament

And I wonder,

How am I good enough to love?

 

My skin is full of blemishes

That leave shameful, ugly scars

It looks just like my soul

Dotted as many as the stars

And I wonder,

How am I good enough to love?

 

My body grows unhealthy

Like the habits that sprout and form

I long to change or stop them

But instead folly becomes my norm

And I wonder,

How am I good enough to love?

 

I love more than I’m able

And it dries me into a weed

Now I’m getting bitter

And I can’t tell want from need

And I wonder,

How am I good enough to love?

 

Most days I want to run away

But I lie in bed instead

I don’t do what I should

I’d be more useful if I were dead

And I wonder,

How am I good enough to love?

 

~~~

I apologize for the depressing nature of this! It is sprung of actual feelings, yes, but they mostly just needed to be voiced. It’s emotions like these that make me grateful for God’s unconditional love, that thrives even when we are at our lows. 

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